About Me


Hello! Thank you for visiting this blog, dear Reader. Let me share with you a little about myself and God's mercies to me.

My name is Nancie. I am a Chinese Christian living in Singapore. The Lord Jesus Christ saved me in 1990 and my life was wonderfully changed when I became a Christian. I went through many challenges just like everyone else, and have been wonderfully upheld by the Lord Jesus Christ through all the ups and downs.

In Dec 2006, I had a severe relapse of clinical depression. At first I was thought to suffer from major depression. But I was diagnosed in late March 2007 to be prone to Bipolar Disorder also known as manic-depressive illness, a brain disorder that causes extreme mood swings from very happy or high moods together with lots of energy (and I am prone to over-strain myself during such times) to very low and depressed moods with low level of energy and constant tiredness (at times with severe feelings of hopeless and worthlessness to the point of having suicidal thoughts and tendency).

I think I have experienced these extreme mood swings for over 20 years or so. But I can only remember more clearly of the 10 or so relapses over the last 18 years prior to my recent diagnosis. These are relapses that occurred just before I became a Christian and then the years after. I could remember them more clearly now because my life was changed significantly after I became a Christian. I have very little memory now of my younger days without Christ. It was through an episode of severe depression that I questioned the purpose of life and whether there is really a God, and if there is whether He cares for me as I was suffering intensely. By God's mercies, I was led to go to church with 2 of my colleagues to seek an answer and God changed my life ever since. I found comfort in God through all the ups and downs in life.

These episodes of depression in the last 18 years usually lasted for a few months before my moods returned to normal. Different from the normal ups and downs we all experience every now and then, Bipolar Disorder's symptoms are very severe. It is a long term medical condition just like diabetes and hypertension that needs to be carefully managed throughout a person's life.

Through this severe relapse in end 2006, I was led to seek medical and counselling help for the first time, besides praying and reading God's Words plus some other helps. I thank God that after so many years of roller coaster rides with extreme mood swings, I have finally understood the reason behind them. To know that I suffer from this medical condition, that it has a name for it, is helping me to learn to manage it better so that I can live for the glory of God and be able to serve Him more effectively.

The medication, by God's grace, is helping to stabilise my mood and enable me be more functional, so that I can continue to seek and serve God. I thank God for my doctor's valuable helps in treating my illness and helping me to learn to cope so that I can live for the glory of God and serve Him. Currently my condition has improved a lot.

In January 2007, I have received professional help from a group of counsellors who are trained to manage brain disorders such as bipolar, clinical depression, OCD, etc etc and my Pastor also counselled me on spiritual matters. The professional counsellors are trained to use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) which is a form of counselling with a focus on understanding how our thoughts affect our behaviours. Bipolar alternates between 2 extreme mood swings ie. mania and depression, and our thoughts and behaviours are shaped by these mania and depression episodes which can at times be very confusing. CBT helps to make sense some of these confusions, and help to pick up skills to manage these mood swings so that one can be more functional.

I am thankful to God for providing me with a team of very compassionate, kind, understanding and encouraging Christian counsellors at Counselling and Care Centre, Singapore from Jan to Apr 2007. My sessions with my counsellor were most fruitful and encouraging. Through her counselling sessions, I embarked on a new journey of self-discovery, of knowing God, myself and others better. The benefits I derived from my sessions with her continues to help me as I journey on. Now I am helped by my Pastor's prayers and counsels, and that of some of my elders and brethren in my church, besides doing my own reading and researching on the internet to understand this condition and how best to manage it. I am deeply indebted to the above persons for their valuable prayers, counsels, encouragements and kindness during my most difficult times.

I am now learning to look to God and learning to use a combinations of available means which our Lord has graciously provided to cope with this brain condition. You can read more about these coping means/strategies from the category "My Coping Strategies" on my blog.

With God's help, I am hoping to share my journey of understanding this brain condition and God's mercies to me with you, dear Reader. If you know of anyone suffering the symptoms similar to that of my condition, please do pray for him/her and let him/her know that it is a medical condition that can be treated. Do advise him/her, if possible, to seek professional and medical help, counselling help, some natural remedies and other helps. Do not hesitate to tell him/her about this blog.

Just click on the links in the "Label" box on the right to read my postings.

I thank God also for my family and friends - for all their prayers, encouragements, support and kindness. In particular, I am indebted to my dear Pastor, my brethren in my church and other Christian friends in other parts of the world, for their love, prayers, supports, concerns and kind love gifts which enable me to recuperate away from work and also to providentially work on this blog. I realized these are tokens of God's love, mercies and faithfulness to me in this difficult trial. These give me the courage to press on, to look to God daily, and to seek and serve our Lord as He enables me. I am thankful to God for His mercies and lovingkindness to me despite my many sins, failures and weaknesses.

I found it helpful and therapeutic to verbalise my thoughts and feelings and share it with others who can benefit from it. It is my prayers that, God willing, this blog with all its information will be used by our Lord to help others, particularly those who are afflicted in like manner and for their loved ones and friends, just as God has used many information available on the internet for my benefit and comfort as I seek to understand my illness and manage it so that I can live for Him and serve Him.

May the testimonies of God's love and faithfulness, through all the changing scenes of life, will continue to bring glory to Him and some comfort and encouragement to His people.

To God be the glory!

"My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever." Psalm 73:26

Warm regards,
First published on February 2008

18 Kind thoughts:

Anonymous said...

Dear Nancie,

I read your articles, and thank the Lord for his encouragement you are giving others who suffers as a christian or from illnessness and diseases. People all over the whole are the same, when they are not inflicted, they would not know but God is dear and close to you as He has sent many counsellors,doctors, friends and christians to you. Be courageous and continue to use the experiences to help others you are doing a great work of administering encouragement to others throughout the world.

I was from Singapore, now residing in Melbourne and I do know the stress and struggles people are going through. Do something positive like what you did. God bless you.

Peter Low

Nancie said...

Dear Peter,

Welcome to my blog! And thanks for your very kind and encouraging note. All thanks and praise be to God for giving me the grace to serve Him in this small way by developing this blog!

Depression and bipolar are complex brain conditions. I still learning many things about them. I sincerely pray that my sharing of my personal experiences and God’s mercies to me in them, and the other links I put on this blog, will benefit others who have similar conditions.

I thank God for my family, friends and church for their prayers and support, which is invaluable in my recovery process. The church can be a most powerful source of support to someone who is suffering. May God enable us to do so as we seek His grace to reflect His love in our relationship with His people.

May God bless and keep you too.

With appreciation,

Kass said...

Thanks for you kind comment on my blog, Nancie. :)

Nancie said...

You are welcome, Marissa. Take care :)

Kate said...

I really appreciated reading how God is working in your life.

Please pray for me, as I will for you!



Anonymous said...

My dear friend Nancie, You are a testimony of God's love & faithfulness and YOU ARE MORE THAN ABLE & MORE THAN A CONQUEROR! Indeed, the strength of your heart and your portion is God even when Bpd & your heart might fail you, He will not!
You have shown us the mercies & goodness of Our Lord as you share with us your story of wellness & your struggles to maintain functioning as close to normal. You have shown us all that it entails to have a complete package of balance with a well qualified team of medical & spiritual counselors.
You demonstrate how wonderful it is to have support of many: loved loves, family, friends & church!
Again this echoes of how necessary it is to share this MISSION with others while serving you as therapy
as you express yourself, your thoughts, your feelings so it benefits others who are suffering
like manner! It benefits us all.
I pray you receive continual encouragement from others as you walk through this with God beside
you! Thank you for allowing us to
view your beginnings to the present![I think this was one of your first posts, right?]

Nancie said...

Peggy, thank you for your encouragements! Yes, this is one of my earliest post :)

All praise and glory be to God for His mercies to me and the way He is enabling me to cope and live for Him and serve Him. Take care!

Nancie said...

Thanks, Kate. I am remembering you in prayers. Praise and thank God for His goodness and mercies.

thato.chauke@gmail.com said...

Hi Nancie. My name is Thato, a disciple of Jesus Christ, running a race to please my Creator(and often stumbling:)), from South Africa.I think it was through God's guiding hand that i came across your blog - i'm reminded of how awesome God is and that nothing is ever too impossible or difficult for Him.I'm going through a challenging season with my health that led to me having to take a 3 months leave to "sort out my health issues" with the most discouraging part being that i don't know the root cause as yet... Reading where you've been (though i can't fully comprehend your pain) and the point that you're at this moment sparked something in my heart that i haven't felt in a long time.
Just wanted to thank you for sharing about God's goodness in your life and reminding me that i am indeed more than a conqueror through Jesus who loves me - illness or not!

Please do remember me in your prayers.

Again, THANK YOU. May God continue to use you in an amazing way.

Nancie said...

Hi Thato,

Thanks for your kind note! It is encouraging to hear from you and to know that you too are a disciple of our Lord Jesus Christ. I am so glad that our gracious God has led you to my blog and you found something helpful here. Do come again.

My heart goes out to your in your struggles. Though I do not know exactly what you are going through, our Lord knows! I am praying for you. Yes, by God's mercies, we are more than conquerors through Jesus who loves us - illness or not!

It is comfort to remember that God is sovereignly working all things for His glory and our good, even in seeming loss, afflictions, trials and troubles. He has a purpose in allowing them and He promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us. So may you continue to cast all your cares upon Him and find much encouragement in His love, mercies and faithfulness.

I have another website (http://believersencouragement.blogspot.com/) where I posted many encouraging Christian sermons and articles that the Lord has been using to encourage me. Hope you will find something that will encourage you too.

Take care.

Praying for you,

Barbara said...

Inspirational reading Nancie.

Nancie said...

Thank you, Barbara :)

i said...

Hi Nancie! As always, your posts are very encouraging and uplifting! PTL for you!

Happy sends her loving wags!

Nancie said...

Hi LS and Happy,

Thanks for stopping by! It's so good to hear from you. Hope to catch up with you soon. Hugs to both of you.

Warm regards,

Anonymous said...

Dear Nancie,

Thankyou for glorifying our Lord Jesus and serving others in this way. I am a Christian with a mother who has suffered from bi-polar for many years. It is greatly encouraging to see how God is working in and through your struggles. I need to trust that God is also working in my mum's life. We can do all things thru Him who gives us strength. Good on you Nancie :)

Fellow sis in Christ

Nancie said...

Dear Fellow sis in Christ,

Thank you for your very kind and encouraging words. All praise and glory be to God for His many mercies to me and to all His beloved people!

I pray that He will work wonderfully in your mum's life and in yours too even through her struggles with bipolar. Our Lord Jesus Christ promised that He is working all things for His glory and our good, even in very difficult circumstances. In fact, it is often in very trying times, that I know and experience God's goodness very real and very personally.

And yes, we can do all things through Him who strengths us. We are more than conquerors through Him Who loved us! May you take heart and find strength and joy in Him as you continue to take care of your dear mother. Once again, thanks for stopping by and your kind note. May God bless you and your mum.

Warm Regards,

Emmeline said...

Dear Nancie,

It is a privilege and joy to be here to read your posts(: the world says - hang in there. But God says.. Hang on to me. By the grace of God, we have an unshakable hope and incomprehensible peace!(:

Press on, more than conqueror!(:


Nancie said...

Dear Emmeline,

Yes, Amen! The Lord is our Rock as all around are sinking sand. What a mercy!

It is my joy and privilege too to know you. I really enjoy serving our Lord together with you. Take care and enjoy your break.

Love too,


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