I am with you always

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Dear Friends,

Thank you very much for stopping by! Thanks for all your prayers and encouragements.

Just a short update on my current condition.

With bipolar disorder, whenever I am well, I am usually kind of hypomanic. Writing and reading is a breeze. My thoughts flow naturally and I can write a lot. I also tend to talk a lot. You can see from my past postings on this blog that I tend to post very long posts and almost every day.

But now I am rather slowed down. My thoughts are dis-jointed. My concentration level is low. Reading and writing takes much effort. Even talking is difficult. When I am a little better, I will tend to want to read, write and talk. But I will be terribly exhausted after that.

So I am coping by cutting down on activities that tire me out.

I learn to lower my expectations of self by not expecting myself to do too much during this period of time.

It is hard as I have perfectionism character trait and begin to feel a sense of uselessness.

But I try to remind myself that I am just taking a break. I can still be useful and contribute when I am better.

I try to exercise more regularly as my body has become so easily tired and lethargic.

I read the Bible and pray daily and am finding much comfort in God's Words.

I re-read this encouraging devotional from CH Spurgeon, that reminds me once again God is with me and will never leave me nor forsake me.

“I am with you alway.”
Matthew 28:20

It is well there is One who is ever the same, and who is ever with us.

It is well there is one stable rock amidst the billows of the sea of life.

O my soul, set not thine affections upon rusting, moth-eaten, decaying treasures, but set thine heart upon him who abides for ever faithful to thee.

Build not thine house upon the moving quicksands of a deceitful world, but found thy hopes upon this rock, which, amid descending rain and roaring floods, shall stand immovably secure.

My soul, I charge thee, lay up thy treasure in the only secure cabinet; store thy jewels where thou canst never lose them.

Put thine all in Christ; set all thine affections on his person, all thy hope in his merit, all thy trust in his efficacious blood, all thy joy in his presence, and so thou mayest laugh at loss, and defy destruction.

Remember that all the flowers in the world’s garden fade by turns, and the day cometh when nothing will be left but the black, cold earth.

Death’s black extinguisher must soon put out thy candle. Oh! how sweet to have sunlight when the candle is gone!

The dark flood must soon roll between thee and all thou hast; then wed thine heart to him who will never leave thee; trust thyself with him who will go with thee through the black and surging current of death’s stream, and who will land thee safely on the celestial shore, and make thee sit with him in heavenly places for ever.

Go, sorrowing son of affliction, tell thy secrets to the Friend who sticketh closer than a brother.

Trust all thy concerns with him who never can be taken from thee, who will never leave thee, and who will never let thee leave him, even “Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, and to-day, and for ever.”

“Lo, I am with you alway,” is enough for my soul to live upon, let who will forsake me.

(Taken from CH Spurgeon's Morning and Evening, 11 May, Morning)

Thanks again for stopping by!

Take care. Hope you have a blessed weekends.

I will post every now and then to let you know of my condition.

Thanks!

10 Kind thoughts:

Mariposa said...

Nice to hear from you and so happy that you doing well.

I know what you are going through, as I have gone through/ going through the same...plus I am in a permanent job.

Nancie, you may also want to join other activities I'm joining, those that does not require you to think a lot and write a lot! I have found those memes and other activities helping in times when I want to preoccupy my mind but lack the energy to find initiatives!

Sending you hugs and prayers.

Love,

Mariposa

Nancie said...

Mari,

Thanks for your prayers and encouragements.

I do miss blogging. Blogging is therapeutic to me. But writing is quite hard at the moment.

Thanks for suggesting the meme and other activities that does not require too much energy. Yes, maybe I shall do that slowly.

One struggle I have about blogging is when I write, I feel I should to visit other blogs too. Blogging is a community. I have many blogs on my list. If I visit one, I feel that I ought to visit others as well. I don't want anyone to feel left out. But I don't have the energy to do so now.

I have been feeling guilty that I have not visit your blog and many others. Thanks for bearing with me!

How to cope with this guilt feeling? Am I expecting too much of myself again?

Thanks again for all your concerns, prayers and encouragements. I am keeping you in prayers too.

Love,
Nancie

Michelle-ozark crafter said...

Take care of you hon. I have been where you are at and it is not fun or easy. I fear at times I will grow roots where I sit in those times. It just takes so much effort to do anything. I love the devotional. What wonderful things to remember. God never, ever leaves us. That is great. All my prayers and love!

Casdok said...

Lovely to hear you are doing well at the moment.
I have also been neglecting blogging, but like you dont have the energy.
Hugs

P.J. said...

Nancie, I am glad you posted about how you are doing... I was wondering!!

I don't think you need to feel guilty about not reading other people's blogs. In not reading, you are taking care of yourself, and there is nothing guilty about that!!!

Do what you can, when you can, and don'e expect too much of yourself. We in blogville expect all our blogging friends to do whatever necessary to keep themself well. Isn't that the whole point??

God bless you, Nancie, as you walk through this time. Hold God's hand, and lean on Him every step of the way.

Love and prayers to you!!

marja said...

Hi Nancie. Don't at all feel guilty about not visiting other people's blogs. It's now time to look after yourself.

I myself am just back from some time away from blogging, and I wasn't even in a depression - just needed some time away from the computer.

So glad you have a good understanding of what you need to do for yourself right now. And you know that God is close to you, taking care of you. Time to let Him do that.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

Jennifer said...

Hey my dear friend,
I know how you feel..dealing with my ocd and depression sometimes makes me not want to write and makes it hard for me to do anything..if there's ever anything i can do for you let me know!! I would love to have your address if possible to send encouraging cards to you!! I love sending mail:) Hope you feel better and i send my love:)
Jennifer

Annie said...

I think I understand how you are feeling. It is such a feeling of loss when my energy slows and fatigue sets in. I hope you will feel better soon. It is a good idea to try and exercise because it keeps your energy in your physical spirit at least. Take care!
Annie

Stephany said...

Hi Nancie! Just stopping by to say hello and tell you thanks for all of your support during my recent bout of depression.

Nancie said...

Dear all,

Thanks again for stopping by, for all your prayers and encouragements.

Once again your prayers, encouragements and support in this difficult time is a great encouragement to me and they mean a lot to me.

Thank God for sending all of you at this time. May God bless you abundantly.

Please take care.

Love,
Nancie

 

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