Pondering on blogging : struggling with "all or nothing", a faulty thinking pattern or unhelpful thinking pattern that can lead to depression


Dear Friends,

Thank you very much for your visits, prayers, comments and emails. Please forgive me for my long silence. Thank God that I am better now. I am still learning to pace myself and to manage my health with the various commitments in my life. This is a great challenge for me!

I found that I have great problem drawing boundaries. In whatever I do, I always strive to do my very best to glorify God and to benefit others. So in blogging, I have tried to post as much as I can and visit as many blogs as I can. When I am invited to join a meme, I found myself hard to say "no" and will do as much as I can to join them. I do enjoy some of them very much and very thankful for many new friends. But over time, I tend to get myself burn out!

I do missed all of you very much and greatly appreciate all your comments and emails. But when I think of returning to blogging, it seems overwhelming to me to pick up from where I have left off! To be honest with you, blogging which originally was therapeutic to me, can at times become very stressful to me!

I tend to feel that unless I can do a good job in blogging, I will rather not do it. If I can't write good post, I will not post. If I can't visit all my friends, I will not visit any. So you see, I am struggling hard with "all or nothing" thinking!

I realized that I must learn to manage this better and there are ways I can learn to do so, as I do love blogging and I have many blogging friends who love me and support me, and they also value my friendships and support. I also have some readers who either email or left comments to let me know that my posts have benefited them.

So I have been praying hard in the past months as to whether I should continue blogging. But I really didn't have the confident of maintaining posts and visits and so do not know how and where to start. I am very thankful for my friend, Susan, for writing to me and sharing with me her experiences. So I am praying and thinking of how best to manage my blog in the days ahead. Please pray together with me for God's leadings. Thank you!

This "All or nothing" thinking can also affect my life in many negative ways in terms of my wanting to do my best for every project or don't do them at all. At times I also think that unless I do well in everything I do, I am not being useful or I am then a failure. These are all faulty thinking patterns.

I was re-reading Pastor David P Murray's series of messages on Depression and the Christian. In his third message "The Condition", he talked about some "unhelpful thinking pattern" or "faulty thinking patterns", one of which is the False extremes and how this can affect our thinking of ourselves. You may download this file in PDF format : 3TheCondition.pdf

False extremes : This is a tendency to evaluate our personal qualities in extreme, black or white categories – shades of grey do not exist. This is sometimes called “all-or-nothing thinking”.

He wrote
Perhaps, the most obvious symptoms of depression are the unhelpful patterns of thinking which tend to distort a depressed person’s view of reality in a false and negative way, and so add to the depression or anxiety.

While we often cannot change the providences we have passed through, or are passing through, we can change the way we think about them so as to present to ourselves a more accurate and positive view of our lives, and so lift our spirits.

...continue reading or Download PDF file : 3TheCondition.pdf

Do you find yourself struggling in this way too? How do you cope?

Thank you for stopping by!

Thanks for your encouragement. Take care and have a blessed day!

Warm Regards,

Related Posts:

About depression, bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness) and mental illness or mood disorders:
1. About bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness)
2. Myths and Facts on Mental Illness
3. Treatment of bipolar disorder
4. Various pamphlets and articles on bipolar disorder for sufferer and carer
5. Recovery steps for depression and bipolar disorder or manic-depressive illness

For friends and carers:
1. Helping someone with mood disorder
2. Family and Friends' Guide to Recovery from Depression and Bipolar Disorder
3. How Carers and Friends can help

Misc related posts:

1. Trust during rough times
2. Finding meaning in a life with bipolar disorder
3. Mental illness (depression, bipolar disorder, etc) is an illness like any other
4. Video on "Depression - A Stubborn Darkness"

My experiences:
1. My Coping Strategies
2. Correcting faulty thinking patterns or Unhelpful thinking patterns that can lead to depression or worsen depression

16 Kind thoughts:

Jennifer said...

Im doing great!! Hope you are:) How have you been? God bless

becky aka theRAV said...

Thanks for stopping by & commenting on my TT post for last week, Nancie. It was great to "hear" from you. It made me think maybe you were doing better. I do hope & pray so. Blogging can be overwhelming. I guess I have been a bit underwhelmed with it lately as I have not been blogging as much either. Maybe we just go thru spurts. LOL May you find your spurt soon. If not, don't worry so much about it. Just do what you feel you can. It has taken me a whole week to get back to my commentors so don't feel so bad. Don't ge so hard on yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Take care. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. God bless.

i said...

Hi Nancie, glad to hear from you again. Sorry I have not been coming around either. Going down the same road as you on blogging.

Think what started off as an enjoyment has somewhat lost its purpose and reason along the way to the point of stressful and overwhelming at times.

Slowing down and taking a break really helped me refocus and prioritise.

Now I'm starting out at the beginning again on my purpose and reason to blog, all at my own pace.

Hope you do too.

Blessings to you!

sbwrites said...

Dear Nancie,
I think this is a great post, and you should feel proud you wrote it.

I've been reading a lot about blogging lately for a workshop I'm going to lead in October, and I've learned that most readers will tune in if they just know when you plan on posting.

So...even if you just post once a week, if you say, "I'm going to post on Mondays for now," they'll know to read you on Monday.

And if you just pick one topic you care about a write a few paragraphs, they'll be delighted to read what you've written.

Whether you read their blogs or not, they'll be pleased to read yours.

Again, it's all just a matter of degree. Many of us get in the trap of thinking we need to do more that whatever it is we're doing, but those are usually our expectations rather than our readers.


Nancie said...

Thanks, Jennifer, for stopping by! It's so good to hear from you. Hope to catch up soon. Take care and God bless.

Thanks, Becky, for your prayers and encouragements. Yes, blogging can be rather overwhelming at times! Glad you are learning to cope. I am still learning :) Hope to catch up with you soon. You are in my thoughts and prayers too. Take care and God bless.

Thanks, LS and Happy, for stopping by and your encouragements. Wow, I didn't know you too are struggling with blogging! Yes, slowing down and taking a break really helped to refocus and prioritise. I am doing so now too. Glad you are starting out at the beginning again on your purpose and reason to blog, all at your own pace. I am hoping to do that soon too. I think it is important to remember our purpose of blogging and to do so at our own pace so that we don't get burnt-out! I have enjoyed your blog very much and it always bring a smile whenever I read your posts. May you and your blog continue to be blessings to many! Take care and God bless.

Thanks again, Susan, for your emails, post and encouraging comment and sharing! I have so much to learn from you and am very thankful that you are very generous and kind in sharing. It is through your encouragements and sharing that I decided to start posting again :) Informing my readers when I am posting sounds good. And writing a few paragraph of what I want to write sounds reasonable. I think you are right, that a lot of time I am bogged down by my own expectations rather than that of my readers! I need to change these faulty thinking patterns. I really look forward to refocus and start blogging with new perspective soon. Thanks again for all your concerns, kindness and sharing. Your posts always contain many information you generously share with your readers and I am thankful that many are benefiting from them. May God bless you abundantly! Take care and God bless!

sbwrites said...

Dear Nancie,
I just read your response; thanks so much. It truly made me feel good!

I hope that when you're feeling better, you'll be able to pick a day--any day--write a few paragraphs and feel like you've accomplished something that's good.


Nancie said...

Dear Susan,

Thanks again for all your sharing and encouragements. I hope to be back blogging soon :) Take care!


marja said...

Dear Nancie,

It was so good to "hear" from you when you visited my blog. Seems like a lot of people are having blogging problems. I, too, have not been able to blog very regularly, though I DO like the opportunity it gives me to reach out to many people all at one time. My pastor believes it's a form of ministry.

But I think I've gotten past the worrying about it. I don't "think" I'm an all or nothing person. I've decided to blog when I have the time, the motivation, and something I'm burning to share.

I tend to burn to share stuff mostly during my more extreme moods - when I'm up and when I'm down. A mild hypomania, which I often experience for long periods also helps me share more.

I truly liked this post - the open sharing you did. But, unfortunately, though Pastor Murray's writings look really interesting and I'm interested, I have great trouble sitting in front of the computer reading long pieces. Just don't have the patience. I'd do better if I had it in front of me on paper.

You do have so much in common with me Nancie. So glad to have you as a friend.

Love, marja

Nancie said...

Dear Marja,

Thank you! It is always a joy and encouragement to hear from you. Thank you for your love and prayers.

I too like the opportunity that blogging gives me to reach out to many people all at one time. And I also view it as form of ministry, a way I can serve God and share His goodness and mercies with others. My prayers and considerations are how to do so without burning out in view of my health condition and all the other commitments in my life. Now that is a great challenge!

I am glad you have passed this phase. Your blog is such a blessing and encouragement to me and many others. May God continue to make you a blessing to many!

Btw, thanks for reminding me that it can be difficult to sit in front of the computer to read long articles. I have uploaded a PDF version of Dr Murray's writing. Do download it when you have time and I am sure you will be greatly blessed!

Take care and keep in touch.


Sarah said...

Nancie, nice to meet you.

I just found your blog via a friend, and am rejoicing in how God is teaching and leading you.

Blessings from Costa Rica,
Sarah Dawn

Darlene said...

Hi Nancie :)

Thanks so much for the kind words you left :)

And thank you for this wonderful post. I agree with all the other commenters. It helps me to know that it's not "just me" feeling this way.

Much love and prayers


Nancie said...

Hi Sarah,

Nice to meet you too! Welcome to my blog. I had a quick look at your blog. You have a great blog and encouraging posts. May God bless you as you share your faith with others. Take care.

Greetings from Singapore,

Nancie said...

Hi Darlene :)

Thanks for stopping by. Always a joy to hear from you. Thanks for all your prayers and encouragements. Take care and have a blessed week!

Much love and prayers too,

Princess said...

Am always glad to "read" you, Nancie, but sad because of your struggles. But don't worry. You are not alone. My blogging's taking a toll, too, and I feel guilty sometimes as if I am being remiss in my duty. But such is life - you give some to take some.
Will keep praying for your getting and feeling better everyday.

Nancie said...

So good to hear from you, Princess. Thanks for your prayers and encouragements. I am praying for you too. Hope to catch up soon. Take care and keep in touch!

Barbara said...

so true, our unhealthy thinking patterns are difficult to break. For me it is only my faith that has got me through.

I certainly know that feeling of wanting to do everything perfectly. It's a killer.


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