Thanks for stopping by.
To be able to wake up this morning and humming Psalm 130 with simple joy in my heart is such a mercy of God!
The cloud of depression has been hanging over my heads for the last 3 weeks that it seems as if it will never go away. Depression is a very frightening illness as it has a strange way of pulling a black screen over my eyes whenever I go through a relapse, and robbed away all hope and joy in the Lord. I lost interest in the things that I used to do. I will be so exhausted every day that I don’t feel I have the energy to wake up and get through the day. Even simple thing like brushing my teeth seems like a chore! I dread to face each day and often wished I don't need to wake up.
Oh. How I hate this illness! It paralyses me and brought me through great pain and agonies. Yet I know in our Lord’s gracious and loving providence, He is using this bipolar disorder with depressive episodes for my sanctification. Every time the cloud is lifted, I feel like a new person, born again! The sting of sins and darkness so touched my heart and life, that nothing but only the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ and the work of the Holy Spirit that I could be delivered!
How I long to be free from these sins and remaining corruptions. I hate the sins I see in myself – my self-righteousness, pride, unbelief, self-centredness, materialism, etc etc.
The Lord has shown Himself mighty in my life once again through using His Words and various people to extend His presence to me. I pray for grace to live for Him, in Him and through Him, by His grace. I can do nothing without the Lord. How I feel this so sensibly!
Oh for grace to fix my eyes upon Jesus, from whence cometh my help and in Whom’s joy is my strength.
(or see https://youtu.be/vKFRcd4PntA)
Hope everyone have a blessed week ahead!
10 January 2016